All posts by coffeebooksandbandwaggons

Hey there! My name is Brittney. I am a reader, a writer, and a blogger. If you have known me longer than 5 years you would also know I am a singer/songwriter/musician. Sadly, my musical endeavors have moved to the background of my life to make room for the reading and the writing. Adding to my list of titles, I am a college student. I am working towards my BA in Healthcare Administration. I was born and raised in Georgia, but I have also lived in Virginia, West Virginia, and Tennessee. I prefer Georgia because of the lack of cold weather. I was lucky enough to find the love of my life, and got engaged to him in October. He is the calm to my crazy. I just wish he read more books, and was a Bama fan. In my spare time I like to read, play guitar, take pictures of my dog Jewel, and text Devon (the fiancee). I love meeting new people even though it may take me some time to open up and become my normal goofy self. If you want to get in touch with me I am on all social media outlets. Send me a tweet of slide in to my DMs. I promise I won't kick you out.

A tale of DOmestic VIolence.

Hey Ya’ll, today I am baring my soul. I am telling the truth to all of you about some things I have kept hidden. I feel ashamed of it because from the beginning I have promised I would be an open book. I have not completely upheld that promise. Partly because Devon had asked me not to write about it, and I think partly because if I did not write about it, and admit it I could keep pretending it was not happening. It was happening, so the truth must come out.

One of the last blog articles I posted was about my year anniversary. I talked Devon up, and I stuck to the good stuff because that’s what a good wife does. We do not publicly fault our husbands. The truth is, this year while it was a good year it was also a terrifying year. Devon has on several occasions been physically abusive.

In December, after catching him cheating with another girl for probably the ninth time I tried to pack my bags, and go to my friend Sarah’s. Devon was not having that. So, for about 2 hours I was held hostage in our house. He had taken my phone, so I could not call anyone. I would try to go into another room, and he would follow me, If I tied to go out the front door he would block it, and the back door. If I tried to squeeze past him he would throw me onto the floor, or the wall. At one point as things escalated he had me against the wall with his hands around my throat; as I tried to breathe he freaked out and let go. I ran to the living room when he tackled me. As I screamed, he covered my mouth so no one would hear me. I remember in that moment thinking that I was going to die. Later he had had his fun I guess, and he let me call Sarah. The cops were called. He gave a false statement to the police, which he later told the truth about to the court ordered therapist. But because of that false statement, and because I scratched him to get him off of me I was the only one arrested that night, Thanks to him admitting the truth in the therapy session, and the therapist contacting the DA with the real story my charges were dropped, and the whole case dismissed,

There were more instanced where he was violent, but December was the worst. A most recent one was in August when he was caught cheating again. He locked me in our walk in closet, twisted my leg backwards and threatened to break it. I have cerebral palsy, so it would not have been that hard. He Also bit me. When I asked him why he had to result to abuse he screamed at me, “I am abusive, and I will be more abusive. ” I ended up spending the night at my friends house. I did not feel safe there. Even Molly growled at him when he called her name that night.

About two weeks ago Devon asked for a divorce. I did not fight it. I didn’t beg to work it out this time. I did not stay like I had so many other times. I packed my stuff that day, and moved to Sarah’s I don’t know what is going to happen to our marriage, I meant what I said when I told Devon till death do us part, and for better or worse. For now we are separated, and he has since changed his mind and does not want a divorce. Only time will tell.

As for me I am still at Sarah’s taking it one day at a time, and here is why. Life is to short to live it in fear. it is to short to live paranoid of the next time you will get hit, screamed at, cheated on, blamed for his many screw ups. Not every one makes it out alive. Do not be shamed in to silence. I was for so long, but I am not any more.

Maybe Devon will change. Maybe this is a wake up call, and a divorce won’t have to happen. For now I won’t take that chance on my life. I will stay at Sarah’s, rebuild. and cherish everyday that I wake up and breathe a breath without fearing it is my last. Anyway’s that is my story and if you are going through this hopefully it is inspiration enough for you to live to tell yours.

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Book Review Friday: Distant Echo’s

Raise your hand if you are one of those people who tend to read the same books over and over, watch the same movie and nothing else, or binge watch the same TV show 80 million times. I am raising my hand over here. I have a TBR list the size of Mount Olympus, but this year I have mostly read books I have read at least once before. Except, Distant Echo’s by Colleen Coble.  Adding to that great accomplishment it is a suspense novel, and I have never read suspense anything before. I mean it was a romance novel too, but it had the navy and local political tyrant group. Big improvement

Distant Echoes (Aloha Reef #1)

Distant Echoes by Colleen Coble

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


What do you get when you cross Hawaii, a dolphin, a girl, and a Naval Lieutenant? You get Distant Echoes. Kaia Oana is a dolphin Research Specialist at Seaworthy Labs, currently working on breaking the language barrier between dolphins and humans. She does this by teaching Nani, a wild dolphin she nursed back to health as a calf, clicks and sounds that associate with human words. One day while working on some of the sounds a missile test happening nearby goes wrong and the missile goes off course, torpedoing a tourist yacht, setting it ablaze. Kaia and Nani spring into action pulling the people out of the water and wreckage.
Jesse Matthews a Navy Lieutenant overseeing the missile test sees the missile go off course and immediately steers his boat towards the burning yacht. He is surprised to see that people are already being rescued by a girl and a dolphin when he gets there. This sparks his interest and will later change his life.
No one on the boat seemed to believe that the missile test malfunction was an accident. This prompts Jesse into launching an investigation to learn the truth. Was the system sabotaged? After seeing Kaia and Nani he coerced her, by going to her boss into helping with the investigation by patrolling the shores with a camera on Nani. Putting a serious risk on Kaia, Nani, and Jesse’s safety, and well as their hearts.
Distant Echoes was the first suspense book I have read. It was a bit different from the normal fiction and romance books I read. I found it intriguing. It kept me on the edge of my seat, but not too much that I would fall on the floor if I moved. I am riding both sides of the fence about that. Is it really suspense if it didn’t truly leave me wondering what is going to happen next, or give me anxiety about the lives of the characters I was reading about? On the other hand, for a first suspense novel was it a good thing that the anxiety level stayed moderately low?
Colleen Coble gave me something I love in a book. I love it when you are faced with 2 possible outcomes, and you don’t know which it could be in the end. For Distant Echoes, she did that using two antagonists. But which one is the one behind the missile test? By the end of the book, I had a pretty good idea of who was not really that bad guy just by making some inferences, but she keeps them subtle enough you still never know.
As a Christian Romance novel, it was subtle on the Christian part, but if we are being honest I feel it was a little too subtle. More than half the book went by before anything Christian based was even written, and you had to read quite a bit before the next. It was almost like they were just dropped into places to make it a Christian Romance. Perhaps it is better off described as suspenseful romance. From the standpoint of the whole book, this would be my one downside.
Overall, I think it is a lovely book. I think it is ideal for anyone wanting a breezy read they can finish quickly. I also think it is ideal for anyone who maybe wants to get away for a while. I recommend it for small groups because of the small group discussion questions, and for any teen girl or young adult.
I think I will read the second one.



View all my reviews

My First Year of Marriage

I have been married for 1 YEAR.  I cannot believe I am writing that sentence because it does not seem like that long. I can honestly say he is still my best friend and I am still madly in love with him. In case you were wondering what a year of marriage has been like for me, you don’t have to wonder anymore because I am about to tell you.

The first few months were a bit interesting. We had roommates when we first got married. It was my best friend Sarah and her boyfriend Logan. Those two have since gotten married, and had a baby named Luna, and she is the cutest thing to ever grace the planet.  I loved our roommates, but if I am being honest being a newly wed and all the great stuff is kind of hard when you have two other people living with you. They moved into their own place in October, so I can only guess they were feeling the same way.

In the beginning I feel like we were in so many arguments. They were all about little things. He left his socks on the floor. I had the bedroom lamp on because I was reading, but he was trying to sleep. Cat or dog? It was just little differences we were realizing about each other because we were living together now. People aren’t lying when they say the first year of marriage is the hardest. I think it is hard because you are learning how to blend your ways, your qualities, your quirks, and all the annoying things with someone else’s. You are having to learn to do life with someone else, and that is hard.

When a family of one becomes a family of two it is a big change, so you can imagine a family of three that was an even bigger change. Yep you guessed it, I am talking about Molly Carlyle Pollock. She is the American Bulldog we adopted on the 13th of October. In the blink of an eye our little family became bigger. We cannot picture life without her.

Another thing that changed is I can no longer sleep alone. Devon can’t either. We did our wedding ceremony almost a whole year after we got married just the two of us and a preacher. I we decided we were going all out, and so I spent the night before the ceremony at my best friend’s house. Devon told me the next morning that he had such a hard time sleeping he took Molly for a walk at 2 am. I don’t know how farfetched his story was, but I get it. I guess when you spend a whole year falling asleep and waking up beside someone when you are not there you notice the difference.

We went through a miscarriage in June. It was a very difficult time for us and for me. I am grateful to Devon because he stood by my side and held me while I cried, and He was just awesome. In that moment I couldn’t have asked for a better husband.

In a year I have learned how to live life with someone else. I have gotten a fur baby. The most amazing this is I have gotten to spend everyday with someone I love more than all the words in all the books in all the world and guess what I get to do the same thing tomorrow too.

Life update.

On my Instagram page on Sunday I shared a post of the book I was reading and sweet Molly Pollock, and talked about how the blog post for the review should be up if everything goes as planned. Well, the plans went South. Devon got home from work and informed me that he got a speeding ticket. That is going to cause him to lose his license for at least a year. He is the only driver in the house because driving scares me, but I am going to get my license now because I have no choice.

Anyhoo the book Woman of Splendor is all about being a Godly woman, being supportive of your husband even when he goes 77 in a 45 , or any of his faults and handling those issues in a Godly womanly way.

I did not handle them so well. I was mad. Partly because everyone who loves my husband has talked to him about how he drives and he gets mad at us for bringing up our fears and our fears came true. But also because I now have to get my license, and I was happy in the backseat of the Uber with my pudding cup and water bottle.

I am being open and honest because I promised that my blog would be a place where I did not sugar coat, I was open and honest about my life, and I would not just write the pretty stuff. I slept on the couch that night, and it was not pretty. I did not want to log in and write some content on being that kind of wife, and giving the life changing advice I got from it, and I was not living out that advice myself.

‘I want to point out that I love my husband. I am not mad anymore. We are working out this situation day by day, and are hoping to come to a solution. I also did not write this to bash my husband. My purpose was to let my readers know why I did deliver the content.

With that being said, As of this moment I am postponing the posting of Woman of Spendor a Review. Until I feel like my heart is in the right place.

I am starting a new book today. Distant Echo’s by Colleen Coble. You can see pics of my journey to where ever it takes me on my Instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/thepollock_fam/

Moving With the Pollock’s Part 2

If you have read Coffee Books and Banwaggons at any point this week you know about this two part series on our most recent move; I have appropriately titled Moving with the Pollock’s. Part one we call all say was sad, and morbid and depressing but you won’t hear any of that on this blog. This post is happy because it is about our new home.

Alright so story time.

When I left off I was telling you how we moved in with my father in law while we looked for a new place to live. We we found a place. It was a little more than we wanted to spend, but when you take in the fact that we have a huge yard and a 2 chicken coops plus a shed, and water and trash is taken care of it’s worth it.

One. thing I love is most of the house has hard wood. Having a dog makes having carpet a NIGHTMARE. I was spending money paying for carpet cleaning and now I don’t have too.

My favorite room in the house is the kitchen. I love to cook and one thing about kitchen a kitchen has to have is decent counter and cabinet space. This kitchen has all of that. The previous owners took the island out, but I got creative and doubled my desk as an island in the kitchen.The kitchen and living room also have an open floor plan.

The living room has a really decent set up for entertaining. Eventually, we will get a matching sofa set, but baby steps.

In the old house I had an office, and think my husband was a little upset that he did not have a space of his own. I had an office I did not even use. With that being said it was important for me to make sure Devon had a place that was all his. One of the three bedrooms has been turned into a man cave. Honestly, I am a little jealous because what he has done with that room is awesome. Also, I don’t have forty million socks all over the house. or cups, or baseball caps because they are in his man cave 🙂 See what I did there?

We are still working on getting things for the master bedroom and spare bedroom and we will keep you all updated as we decorate those.

At the end of all of this moving we can say we are happy, the house is great, and there is nothing to repair. Now we can focus on being married and our family.

Moving with Pollock’s Part 1

This year has been a whirlwind of changes for myself, Devon, and Molly. One of the biggest changes happened most recently. Devon and I decided to out of the house we were renting. It was the house we lived in when we first got married, and for a few months before. It was hard to say goodbye to, but at the end of the day we knew it was the right thing to do.

We came to this decision because of the issues the house had. It was very old and had not been kept up. Before I go any further I want to point out there were obvious issue he promised to fix before we moved in. One of them being the leaking hole in the ceiling…that is still there. Also the rodents, but we ended up paying money to handle that.

This was a rental property, which meant we had a landlord. In our rental agreement it states that any repairs that make the house uninhabitable falls on the landlord. This is where issues started. The previous tenant our ex landlord’s daughter planted a tree by the trailer and built a porch around it. It is a big oak tree. We noticed that the wall if you push it moves and you can see the outside. We told our ex landlord, who put his hand on the wall pushed it saw it moved and said “.oh you will be alright” We ended up putting plywood down, and new flooring to try to fix the issue of the cracks it caused. Our landlord kept saying we were responsible for repairs, and we kept fixing stuff. The pipe under the sink busted 3 times and we repaired it.

We dealt with it for a while until all the outlets for the house went out, and my husband the electrician rigged an extension chord from the shed to the window to run the window unit in the house. But, then the shed went out. The straw that broke the camels back was when pipes burst underneath the trailer. I was responsible for the water bill, so I was not very happy. I was told by my ex landlord I would have to call a plumber and pay for it. I had my father in law look over my lease and found out that all the repairs I was paying for was actually my landlord’s responsibility. We were basically being taken advantage of.

I talked it over with the family and we decided we needed to move. I gave my landlord a thirty day notice,. and we moved in temporarily with Devon’s dad.

Don’t fall for what we fell for. Know the laws and rights you have. Here are a few I wish I knew the 8 months I lived with a slum lord.

  • You have a right to livable conditions. This means working plumbing, heating, and electricity. If you do not have these things most states allow that as terms to be able to break a lease. I was signed into a six month lease and felt trapped, due to not knowing this.
  • It does not matter if it is in your lease if the law says something different what’s in the lease can not be enforced. For example, in the state of Georgia major repairs like plumbing and electric fall on the landlord. After looking over my lease it never said that I was responsible for major repairs, but even if it did it could not be enforced.

Thank you all of my readers for taking the time to read the back story on my rental experience from hell. I will be back this evening with Part 2 where I talk about our new place (with pictures)